Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category


They Are Trying To Do It Again

23 September, 2008, Tuesday

Read this. Or don’t. You don’t really have to – you’ve heard it all before.

It’s just another Republican whining (and using italics to the point of annoyance) about all the hatred directed at Sarah Palin. He thinks people hate her because she’s small-town and folksy. And that argument has grown so boringly tedious and is so flatly WRONG that it’s not even worth the time to dissect it. So what-the-fuck-ever, I don’t care, *yawn* *stretch*, Jon Stewart is on in 20 minutes, is there any arugula left?

But the Republican did write one thing that I found infuriating enough to scream outloud, “Oh no you don’t, you will NOT be allowed to get away with that!”

And this is what it was:

For the first time since Ronald Reagan, our last great president, we, the people, see a chance that one of us might have a voice in governing our country.

Speaking of Reagan (Eureka College, Illinois), every chief executive we’ve had since the Gipper snapped his final salute as president has had the imprimatur of an Ivy League university. And we’ve gone from bad to worse:

* George Herbert Walker Bush: Yale.

* William Jefferson Clinton: Georgetown, Oxford, Yale Law.

* George W. Bush: Yale and Harvard Business School.

The first lacked the sense to finish the job in Desert Storm; the second lacked the guts to go after al Qaeda when it was just a startup – and the third, well, let’s just say he disappointed our low expectations.

Remember during the 2004 election how Kerry, an actual war hero, was portrayed as the out-of-touch elitist windsurfer who had brought shame on his country according to the lies of Swift Boat Veterans? While George W. Bush, who actually did have a shameful (and absent!) Vietnam record, campaigned as the brush-clearing every man who didn’t rightly cotton to none a’ that book learnin stuff? Remember how topsy turvey it all seemed? It was like bizarro world.

Well, welcome to Bizarro World 2.0. They are trying to spin it all in reverse.

The author of this piece of shit article is trying to put distance between Bush and the Republicans by claiming that George W. Bush was a bad president, at least in part, because he went…to Yale? Jesus Christ.

They can run away from him all they want (and they are! LOL), but everybody knows that Republicans LOVED!, ADORED!, WORSHIPPED THE VERY GROUND that George W. Bush walked on.

How many times after 911 did we have to hear mewling, simpering Republicans say on TV: “Thank GOD we have George W. Bush in the White House!” “Thank GOD for President George W. Bush!”


THAT was his chief selling point!

They wanted to have a BEER with him!

So excuse me if I find this claim of “low expectations” every bit as dubious as Sarah Palin’s legitimacy as a candidate. The guy who wrote this article most likely voted for Bush TWICE and he now has the shameless gall to look us in the eye and claim that he had low expectations about Bush? Disgusting.

You people championing this Neocon party doll from Alaska will not have another try at putting forth your cockamamie notion that common people are better leaders. Not without a fight. You will not be given another chance to have a leader who is “one of you“. I know you don’t like being reminded of this, but you currently HAVE a leader who is one of you and he is the biggest fucking disaster this country has ever seen.

And I know many of you afore-mentioned folk will be completely unaware of this, but intelligent people do this thing called “learning from their mistakes” – and George W. Bush has been a strong example of what happens when we lower our standards. We don’t want to repeat that mistake again.

So we are aiming higher than YOU this time around.

How elitist of us, n’est-ce pas?

We tried to warn you about George W. Bush – you didn’t listen. We tried to warn you about Iraq – you didn’t listen. And now we are warning you about John McCain and Sarah Palin – and a disturbing number of you are not listening.

I’m beginning to think slightly more than 1/4 of the Republican party actually hates this country and WANTS to see it come to ruin.


Image Of The Moment

5 March, 2007, Monday

The view from inside one of the famous blue burqas, the most extreme form of covering for Islamic women.


Under the Taliban in Afghanistan, the burqa was mandatory and a woman was allowed to be uncovered only within the walls of her home. If caught in public unveiled, she could be beaten on the spot. And though it’s no longer officially mandatory, many pockets of Afghanistan are still ruled by Taliban-sympathetic warlords, so many women still wear the burqa regardless.

Which is good, because really, if a man looks upon a woman and has an impure thought, it is, of course, not his fault for having a weak mind. Oh no no no. It’s the woman’s fault. How can a man possibly be expected to carry on his day-to-day affairs with a bunch of filthy skanks running around with their eyes, noses, and mouths jutting out shamelessly for all the world to see?

He can’t! No man can exercise that kind of sexual control.

And lest anyone think men get off lightly in the Islamic order of modesty, be aware that they, too, have their dress requirements. Men must -MUST- wear full sleeves that cover everything down to the wrist. Tsk tsk…how do they manage being so brutally restricted?


One Less Homosexual In The World, Godly Americans Rejoice

7 February, 2007, Wednesday


After three weeks of intense counselling, it was announced yesterday that disgraced pastor, Ted Haggard, has been officially diagnosed as ‘Not Gay Anymore’.

The awesome power of modern psychological therapy, eh? Three weeks is all it took. Even busy-bee James Dobson thought it would take 4 or 5 years.

Somewhere, Donnie Davies is smiling.

According to the Rev. Tim Ralph:

“He is completely heterosexual,” Ralph said. “That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.”

First, it’s really cute the way he calls blow jobs and meth-fueled butt sex “things”.

Secondly, one does not “discover” one is a heterosexual at 50 years of age unless, perhaps, one has just awakened from a 38 year state of vegetation.

Thirdly, everything Tim Ralph says is a complete and utter lie. He doesn’t believe Haggard is straight any more than I do. He’s like Paul Bremer handing power over to Iraq in that weird, quickie ceremony thingy in 2004 when Bremer couldn’t throw the documents at Allawi fast enough so he could get the fuck out of that dangerous shit hole and back to America.

Ted Haggard is New Life Church’s Iraq. He’s a liability and could cause significant financial damage to his former church, possibly to the entire megachurch empire in Colorado Springs.

This announcement is a rushed public relations campaign to tell the sad little lambs that a happy ending is just round the corner – that Pastor Ted has redeemed himself, he is right as rain and all about scoring the wifely pussy. It’s aim is to put the ugly, sordid affair behind them. And it will be followed by shuffling Ted the fuck out of the area as quickly as possible to become someone else‘s problem.

And what a shame. Think of the powerful message of forgiveness it would send to the parish to allow new, improved Macho Ted to come back and resume his duties. Isn’t that what Christianity is supposed to be about at it’s heart?

The church overseers are telling us that Ted has been successfully cured, but their actions are certainly suggesting that they aren’t willing to put their money where their mouths are. So we have to assume that the risk of backfire is of greater importance to them than the reward of practical, concrete application of God’s word.



The Bright Spot In Biblical Inconsistency

29 January, 2007, Monday

…is that it has created a space for the following to exist.

Director Brian Keith Dalton (who also stars as Mr. Deity) has created a series of really clever short films on YouTube that highlight the holes in God’s plan as he creates the universe.

The videos are amazingly polished and have an almost NBC-on-Thursday-night feel to them. But NBC or any major network wouldn’t dare touch ’em with a barge pole. And that’s why the Internet is going to kick TV’s ass.

Regardless, we will certainly be seeing much more from this talented group of guys. And I can’t wait.

Mr. Deity Episode 1: Mr. Deity and the Evil

Mr. Deity Episode 2: Mr. Deity and the Really Big Favor
Mr. Deity Episode 3: Mr. Deity and The Light
Mr. Deity Episode 4: Mr. Deity and the Messages



28 January, 2007, Sunday

The Internet giveth and the Internet taketh away.  
I lift my mourning veil to write this post.

Some nosie nancy just couldn’t leave well enough alone and hounded out the ‘true’ identity of Donnie Davies.   Turns out, he’s just an improv performer


RIP Donnie Davies. Youth pastor. Reformed homosexual. Moral crusader.

You were too beautiful to exist in our world.

(cue taps)


Christian Rocks Hard In A Pink Shirt (and, sadly, no ascot)

24 January, 2007, Wednesday

Ladies and Gentleman, I am excited about this faaaabulous new musical talent!

Donnie Davies is a man who used to know his way round the butt plug and anal beads aisle at the Porn Empornium.    But all that changed after he was filled with the stickiest man-goo the world has ever known: God’s love.   

Now he’s a crusader fighting against sin, a beacon of hope to afflicted men who want to make the gay go away, and a brilliant lyricist with a knack for powerful imagery:

Read the Bible
and you’ll be sure
to enter heaven
there’s no back door
Righteous man
get on your knees
there lies no virtue
in sodomy

From his website:   

I’ve been researching for many years now and feel I’ve come up with a very strong program to help cure people of Homosexuality. Its called the C.H.O.P.S program and We’re running full steam ahead with it. C.H.O.P.S stands for:

  • C: Changing
  • H: Homosexuals
  • O: (into) Ordinary
  • P: People

Oscar Wilde, my hero, was a reformed homosexual. He went to prison for his sins. Once he was alone with his thouhgts, in jail, he saw the errors of his ways and repented. He died as a Christian. While I’m not advocating jailing all Homosexuals, I do think it would benefit them greatly. It would be for their own good. When a person is forced to think they will generally be able to see their problems and solve them by themselves.

Okay, so he’s not very hip to the sort of activity that men get up to in the clink, but whatever, let’s not quibble and spoil his message of compassion and tolerant Christian guidance. Besides he clearly says he’s not for jailing ALL homosexuals and that is more than decent.

Christian soccer moms, if your son is showing an unhealthy interest in the theatrical arts or fashion, go grab the li’l mincing sodomite and huddle with him round the speakers and let Donnie’s beautiful song set him straight.

The rest of you, just enjoy. And then repent for all that ass fucking.

(If YouTube pulls the video, see it here. And if that link doesn’t work, my god, search for it. You must see it to believe it.)


Just One Question About That Speech

11 January, 2007, Thursday

Why did Bush eschew his old “May God continue to bless America” bullshit closer? 

Veeeery interesting. 

One doesn’t want to get too excited, but perhaps – oh can it possibly be? – he is no longer having private national security meetings with his invisible AA sponsor?